Invasion of the Boy Snatchers Read online

  Claire scratched a welt that had formed on the side of her neck. “Because it’s not. But give me a chance to fix—”

  “How can you fix this? They took my dog away!” Massie felt dizzy and leaned against the side of her desk. “How would you like it if someone came into your house and just took Todd away?”

  “You can’t compare your dog to my brother.” Claire was rolling the bottle of blue nail polish between her palms.

  “I just did!” Massie shouted.

  Right on cue, Todd started blasting his tuba, off key!

  Massie pounded on the wall. “I wish someone would take him! Then you could have his room and I could get Bean back.”

  His tuba suddenly got louder, as if he had moved closer to the wall on purpose.

  “Your family is destroying my life!”

  Claire’s blue eyes seemed to harden and turn a shade darker. She was obviously offended, but Massie was too upset about Bean to apologize.

  “I’m destroying your life?” Claire’s body shook with anger, which must have loosened the tears behind her eyes and sent them spilling down her cheeks. “How can you say—?” She was rolling the nail polish bottle faster now, and the top accidentally came off in her hands. Metallic blue splattered across the burnt-orange pajamas Massie had lent her.

  Claire looked up at Massie, her eyes wide and her mouth open, like someone had jumped out from behind the bed and soaked her with a water balloon

  “How can I say that? How can I say that?” Massie asked. “You ruin everything of mine!” She marched into her bathroom and slammed the door shut. Before she burst out crying, Massie turned on the two swan-shaped faucets over her sink, then blasted the water in the shower. No one was allowed to hear her cry except Bean. And she was gone.

  After ten minutes of sobbing, Massie’s anger had subsided and a weak, feverish feeling had taken its place. She was ready to negotiate with Claire. Perhaps they could come to some sort of Bean compromise. Maybe Claire could sleep under a mosquito net or wear a surgeon’s mask? And she could always get another pair of burnt-orange pajamas, right? Massie shut off the water and turned the shiny silver handle on her bathroom door. She stepped into her bedroom cautiously, not exactly sure what she was afraid of.

  “Claire?” Massie asked meekly. “You in here?”

  “Yup.” Claire’s voice sounded muffled, like she was inside a box.

  “So am I,” another muffled voice chimed in.

  Massie poked her head inside the closet and saw Claire standing with Layne.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I told Claire I’d come over today and help her unpack.” Layne was wearing a pink rain hat similar to the one Kristen had been wearing at school the other day and a hot pink jumpsuit that was unzipped just enough to show a sliver of the black-and-yellow-striped sweater she was wearing underneath. She had a beige canvas backpack strapped to her shoulders.

  “What are you wearing?” Massie asked. “Did you skydive here?”

  “You know, you didn’t really give her much closet space to work with,” Layne said.

  “It’s okay, Layne.” Claire pushed Layne out of the closet.

  “No, it’s not, it’s totally unfair,” Layne insisted.

  “Hey, Layne, knock knock.” Massie put her hands on her hips.

  Claire sighed.

  “Who’s there?” Layne asked, happy to help.

  “Butt out.”

  “Butt out who?”

  “Butt out, Layne!” Massie turned on her heel and marched out of the closet. She slammed the door behind her and locked it, leaving Claire and Layne trapped inside. It was the first time she giggled all day.

  “Let us out.” Layne pounded on the door. “Or I’ll wipe jalapeño salt all over your precious cashmere sweaters.”

  “Go ahead. Claire has already destroyed half of my wardrobe. You might as well finish the job. See you later,” Massie shouted. “Good luck with your reorganizing.” She stomped on her wood floors, pretending to leave. After a few seconds, Massie quietly removed her diamond studs and pressed her ear against the door.

  Layne was panting.

  “She’ll let us out eventually. Don’t panic. So what’s up?” Claire was obviously trying to take Layne’s mind off the fact that they were trapped. “How’s Eli? Are you two still hot and heavy?”

  “I dumped him last night on IM. I wrote, ‘U G2G 4Ever.’”

  They giggled.

  “Why?”

  “He told me he bumped into Alicia and Nina at the MAC makeup counter,” Layne said.

  “So you finally got tired of dating a guy who wears eyeliner?”

  “No, he became obsessed with Nina. He wouldn’t stop talking about her. He loved her sexy boots, her wild outfits, and her exotic accent. I swear, Nina-mania is spreading faster than Dylan’s flu.”

  “Let’s ask the hearts about her.”

  “’Kay,” Layne agreed. “Hearts, should we lock up our crushes? Is Nina a boy-snatcher?”

  Claire giggled. Massie pressed her head against the door a little harder. She heard the plastic bag rustle and the candy hearts clink together.

  “It says, ‘She-devil.’”

  Massie felt her stomach sink when she heard Claire and Layne gasp. She wanted to run in the closet and ask them to help her come up with a plan to get rid of Nina.

  “That girl must be stopped,” Layne shouted. “It is our duty to put an end to Nina the Sex Machina.”

  Just then, Massie’s cell phone rang. She fumbled to hit ignore, but it was too late.

  “Massie, are you out there?” Claire shouted.

  “Open the door.” Layne pounded.

  “Come on, Massie, we have a movie to catch,” Claire pleaded.

  Massie unlocked the door with one hand and answered her phone with the other.

  Layne and Claire burst out of the closet and stormed out of the bedroom.

  Massie ignored them.

  “Hullo? … Hey, Kristen, what’s up? … Your bike lock is missing? What about your bike? … Who would take the lock and leave the bike? … Well, I can’t find my crimper… .” Massie searched her room to see if anything else was gone. That was when she noticed an empty space on her Glossip Girl shelf where her tube of Cotton Candy had been. “I think I know who did this.” She thought of the ten minutes she had spent in the bathroom while Claire was alone in her room. She could have called Layne and told her to swipe the lock on her way into the house. Massie had seen Little Miss Innocent do some pretty sneaky things when she was upset and knew that stealing was hardly beneath her.

  “I’ll look into it. I have a few ideas. I’ll call you back in a bit.”

  “’Kay,” Kristen said before she hung up.

  Massie crept down to Inez’s room and dog-napped Bean. She raced upstairs and let the dog roll around and play in a pile of Claire’s clothes.

  “Payback’s a bitch.” She patted Bean on the head. “Pun intended.”

  MASSIE BLOCK’S CURRENT STATE OF THE UNION BLOG

  IN OUT

  Dance contests Kissing contests

  Colds Allergies

  Soul mates Roommates

  BRIARWOOD ACADEMY

  SOCCER FIELD

  Friday, February 6th 4:15 P.M.

  Claire was sitting in the backseat of the Blocks’ Range Rover with her forehead pressed against the cold window. It was all she could do to keep herself from barfing.

  “Todd, could you stop playing that thing for one second?” Claire shouted toward the very backseat.

  “I have to practice,” he said into his tuba. “I’m playing at halftime today.”

  “Well, it’s making me nauseous.”

  Todd lifted his swollen lips away from the mouthpiece. “I’m not the one driving.”

  “Todd!” Judi shouted over her shoulder.

  He responded with a short toot.

  “Mom, ease up on the brakes a little,” Massie snapped after her head jerked forward.

  Claire
was relieved someone had finally spoken up about Kendra’s horrible driving.

  “It’s not me, it’s my shoes,” Kendra promised. The car jerked three more times as she made the turn into the parking lot at Briarwood Academy. “These new Prada wedge heels have a bit of weight to them.”

  Claire’s mother, Judi, laughed and sighed. “Oh, Kendra, you and your shoes. You are so funny!” But Claire knew her mother didn’t really see the humor in a grown woman who blamed her spastic driving on designer footwear. But lately everyone had been trying to act more tolerant of one another. “There’s a spot,” Judi shouted.

  Kendra slammed on the brakes and Claire’s head knocked against the window. Massie chuckled, then reached into her midnight blue feather clutch and pulled out what must have been her most recent Glossip Girl delivery, because Claire didn’t recognize the spicy scent. She watched though the corner of her eye as Massie smeared the stinky gloss across her lips. For the past week, Claire has been very careful not to show any interest in anything Massie did. Not until she apologized for accusing Claire of destroying her life. In fact, she was only riding with Massie because they’d promised Cam and Derrington they’d go to the game if the boys would stand still during the Love Struck dash. And Claire had every intention of honoring her deal with Cam, even if it meant sitting with Massie, driving with Kendra, and listening to Todd’s tuba.

  “Ew, this smells like butt!” Massie pulled a road atlas out of the seat-back pocket and wiped her lips on Ohio. “I knew Taco Belle would be gross!”

  Claire’s body shook as she tried to suppress her laughter.

  “Why didn’t you steal this one instead?” Massie hissed.

  Claire was tired of denying Massie’s accusations. She had been doing it all week. It was time to try a different approach.

  “I don’t like Mexican food. But if you get mac ’n cheese, I’ll take it.”

  “Just like you took my cotton candy?”

  “Exactly.” Claire turned to the window.

  Kendra stepped on the brake and looked at Massie through the rearview mirror. “Why are you two so dressed up for a silly soccer game? We’re only here to see Todd play his flute in the marching band.”

  “Tuba,” Judi corrected. “Todd plays the tuba.”

  Massie looked down at her blue tights, black leather miniskirt, and her matching knee-high boots as if she were noticing her outfit for the first time. “I would hardly call this ‘dressed up.’” She made air quotes around dressed up. “These boots are almost three months old.”

  “Well, Claire is certainly looking a little more formal than usual.” Judi turned around and examined her daughter. “What’s the occasion?”

  For the first time in seven days, Claire looked Massie in the eye. She was silently begging her not to tell the mothers that they were really dressed up for Cam and Derrington. Claire knew her mother would want to take pictures of her chasing Cam with a bow and arrow after the game. And she had already been humiliated enough over the last few months.

  “Since when did it become a sin to wear my green lace Christmas dress to a soccer game? What’s the point of buying something if you’re only going to wear it once a year?”

  “Oh, I can think of a million reasons.” Kendra smiled and slapped Judi playfully on the arm.

  “Besides, I’m wearing it over jeans, which gives it a casual look,” Claire shouted over Todd’s tuba.

  Massie reached behind her and pinched Todd’s thigh until he stopped playing. “If by casual you mean homeless, then yes, it does.” After she finished speaking she let go.

  “Outfits aside, I think it’s nice that you’re all here to support Todd.” Judi sounded pleased. Claire couldn’t help looking at Massie after her mother said that. And to her surprise, Massie looked back at her with a wink and friendly half-smile. Claire smiled back.

  “I know he appreciates it. Don’t you sweetie?” This time Judi twisted her neck so she could see her son’s grateful expression.

  Todd blew two long, moaning blasts that sounded like a foghorn. Claire and Massie turned around and slapped his legs at the same time, then giggled.

  Kendra finally parked the car and everyone jumped out. Claire was tempted to kiss the ground but took five deep breaths instead and asked her mother for ginger ale money. Judi handed her three dollars and made the girls promise to meet back at the car after the game.

  “Uh, we have this thing for school after the game,” Claire called back over her shoulder. She looked to Massie for help. The last thing she wanted was her mother watching her run around a soccer field chasing boys on a Friday night. Luckily, Massie felt the same way.

  “Yeah,” she shouted. “Dean, Alicia’s driver, will take us home. We’ll be back before dinner. Good luck, Todd!”

  “Thanks,” he said into his tuba.

  “Have fun,” the moms called as they waved goodbye to their daughters.

  Massie led Claire straight to Kristen, who was sitting in the first row of bleachers behind the home bench. She was dressed in head-to-toe orange-and-blue Briarwood Tomahawks gear, waving a pennant in the air, and jumping up and down.

  “I can’t wait to see what you do when the players actually get on the field.” Massie smirked.

  Kristen laughed. “Hey, I love that you’re here,” she said. “I hate coming to these things alone.

  “You’d never know it.” Claire craned her neck, looking for a soda cart.

  A father with a beer belly in a black leather jacket smacked Kristen on the back. “Hey, good luck today, buddy.” He turned sideways and stepped into the opposite row of bleachers.

  Kristen crinkled up her blue eyes, stuck her tongue out at the man, and shouted, “Ttub leoh!”

  Claire and Massie covered their mouths with their gloved hands and laughed.

  Kristen reached into the pocket of her Tomahawks windbreaker and pulled out a tube of red lipstick.

  “When did you start wearing that?” Massie asked.

  “When people started thinking I was on the boys’ soccer team,” Kristen snapped.

  The girls giggled as she overdosed on Revlon’s Paint the Town Red.

  Once the game finally started, Kristen seemed to forget her anger. She screamed for the Tomahawks every time they had the ball, while Claire mostly just shouted for Cam. She hit Massie every time Derrington made a good save so she’d know to cheer for him. But aside from those Derrington moments, Claire and Kristen were on their feet rooting, while Massie sat bundled up in her sheepskin coat and two scarves, playing Breakout on her cell phone.

  “Virgins!” A voice shouted. “Get your virgins here.”

  Sage Redwood was balancing a tray of her signature juice drinks while another girl walked beside her collecting money.

  “I’ll take one.” Claire waved, giving up on her ginger ale.

  “Do you have any Perrier?” Massie looked at Kristen and then said, “Make that two.”

  Ever since Massie had found out Kristen was poor, she bought everything for her—lunches, movie tickets, snacks, accessories, and glittery school supplies.

  “How about one of our Virgins for Life Tshirts?” Sage’s helper opened her jacket and showed Massie that she was actually wearing one herself. The edges of Massie’s mouth start to curl up and Claire knew that a clever cut-down was on its way out.

  “I’d buy one, but I can’t stand false advertising,” a voice announced. It wasn’t Massie’s.

  Nina and Alicia were behind Sage, waiting to squeeze past her and sit down. They were both wearing their hair in Pocahontas braids. But the similarities stopped there. Alicia was dressed like she always was, crisp dark jeans, a cute cami, a Ralph Lauren blazer, and her long gray coat, while Nina was wearing a J.Lo version of a soccer uniform: denim short shorts and thigh-high platform sneaker boots. A thin white long-sleeved T-shirt with the number 69 written on the back in rhinestones completed the outfit. Throughout the game guys kept offering her their coats, but she swore that she was a hot-blooded animal and
didn’t need them. Then she would growl.

  “Oh, by the way.” Nina turned to Massie. “Thanks for the air-conditioned exercise pants. Being exposed like that gave me such a thrill.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time understanding what you’re saying,” Massie snapped. “I don’t speak Slut.”

  Nina ignored Massie and turned to Kristen. “You look so pretty today. I love the lipstick.”

  “Really?” Kristen beamed. “Thanks so much.” She reapplied her lipstick and turned to Nina. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  Claire felt like she was going to puke all over again. Nina was more nauseating than Kendra’s driving. She turned and focused on Cam, who had just taken the ball away from one of the Grayson guys. “Yeah, Cam!” she shouted. But just as quickly, the ball was taken from him. Number 37 kicked it across the field and passed it to number 20, who kicked it toward the net. Derrington stuck out his arm and managed to block the goal. Then he turned to the crowd, pulled down his shorts, and wiggled his bare butt.

  Everyone jumped out of their seats and cheered for the star goalie.

  “Massie!” Claire shouted. “Get up—Derrington just made a great save.”

  Massie stood up on her bench and started bouncing up and down. Cam and Derrington waved at them from the field and Claire felt her heart leap. Massie looked over at Claire and smiled with her eyes.

  “You’re welcome,” Claire said.

  “The better he plays, the easier it will be for us to win the Cupid Award.” Massie turned to Claire. “Don’t you think?”

  “Let’s see.” Claire pulled the bag of candy hearts out of her coat pocket. “Hearts, will Derrington win the Cupid Award?”

  “Let me do it.” Massie stuck her hand in the bag and pulled out a blue heart. “Destiny.” Her face lit up and she smiled brightly. “Yes!” She popped the candy in her mouth and hugged Claire. “I love these things. Why didn’t I think of doing this?”

  Claire figured that was Massie’s way of apologizing and decided to accept.

  “Isn’t this stupid game over yet?” a dark figure asked as she pushed her way in between Claire and Massie. She was wearing a black poncho, black sunglasses, and a black pashmina wrapped around her flaming red hair.